Letter to a teenage girl...

Dear Teenage Girl,

There are many things that I wish I had done differently when I was younger.  There are so many things that I wish I had learned.  There are so many things I wish someone would have told me. 

The number on the scale or the size or your clothes isn't what makes you beautiful.  I wish someone had taken the time to show me that your worth isn't wrapped up in how you look.  It has taken me years to learn this.  I still struggle with it today.  I still struggle with the memories and thoughts that creep up and make me ashamed of how I look.  You, You are beautiful.  You were fearfully and wonderfully made.  God designed you.  Learn to love how God made you.  I spent to many years wishing my body was different, wishing I was built different.  But you can't change it.  God made you beautiful.  God made you perfect.  God made you.     

That food is not the answer when you are hurt/stressed/angry/bored etc...Food doesn't solve anything.  It might make you feel better momentarily, but eventually the guilt will creep up.  Instead of turning to food, precious girl, learn to turn to Jesus.  He's waiting for you.  Learn while you are young to have a healthy relationship with food.  Food is a good thing.  God made us to enjoy it, not feel guilty about it or abuse it.   

I wish someone had intervened, or had the eyes to see when I started messing around with anorexia/bulimia.  But there are some secrets that we learn to keep hidden so well, that nobody knows and nobody would ever suspect.  It's not a game.  It's not something to mess with.  If you are struggling with this, then please don't be ashamed to get help.  Nip it in the bud before it gets out of control.  You're body is a temple.  Your body is sacred.  Your body is God's. 

You really aren't ready to have a boyfriend at 16.  I know that you think you are, but you aren't.  You're still So.Young.  I know that you think you are grown, and hate it when people call you young, but you are.  In the next 4 years, even in the next 2 years, you are going to do SO much changing.  You are going to grow up so much!  You are still growing up.  Be friends with guys.  You're going to have that boy that makes your heart skip a beat, and he's going to take your breath away, and he's going to be wonderful.  That's normal.  But wait.  If I could do it all over again, I'd wait until college.  And don't be in a hurry to give away your first kiss.  Make him work for it.  He needs to prove to you that he is going to treasure and cherish you, that he is going to protect your heart.  He needs to earn your trust.  Don't settle.  You're Dad, well, He'll be pretty instrumental when it comes to boys.  He knows you better than you give him credit for, and while no guy will ever be good enough for you in his eyes, trust his judgment when he says a certain guy is no good.  Most of all.  Enjoy being single.  Don't waste away your single life wishing you had a boyfriend, or wishing you were married.  Being single is a gift just like being married is.  Cherish every moment of it.

There is going to be times in your life when you have really hard decisions to make.  You are going to decide that the guy you are dating (again my wisdom of course) isn't right for you.  You are going to find out that your best friend is crossing a line with her much older boyfriend and you feel you have to tell someone.  You are going to be criticized for it.  People, even adults that you trust, are going to tell you that you did the wrong thing, that it wasn't any of your business, that as her friend you shouldn't have said anything, that you weren't a good friend.  You are going to struggle with the weight of it all.  But when your dad tells you for the first time that he's really proud of the decisions you've made, and He knows that you're struggling through it all, and that He loves you so much, you're going to feel a weight lifted off you, and you're going to know that you're going to be ok.  And even if you're dad isn't around to tell you that He's proud of you, and that He loves you, God is in cheering in your corner.  Run to him.  Cling to HIS promises.

I wish I could tell you that you are going to make it through adolescence unscarred, unbruised, unscathed.  But that's what growing up is all about.  It's learning.  It's taking those mistakes, those hard times, those broken heart, and learning from it, and growing from it.  In your moments of despair learn to turn to Jesus first.  Learn to make Jesus your first and greatest love.  Seek Jesus above all else.